Paternity test results

Yellow Pages 
#1
I'm sending you a baby jag to be a hot dad to
Asha

Hey Asha was feeling extra flirty and she wasn't even sorry about it!
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#2
Uhhhhhh Asha had turned someone else hey what the FUCK?

1_face_dizzy Uhhhh who??
Barlit

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#3
This kid named Andy who showed up at my bar for food and I totally thought he was that kid Tyler from forever ago
one of my bartenders caught him staring at me so he lied and said he knew me and then she called me over and I was like oh fuck it's that kid but no he's just a brand new jaguar baby
Asha

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#4
Uhhhh does he know who turned him?
Barlit

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#5
man I didn't even ask
You know who can ask though
hot dad abraham
Asha

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#6
I'm pretty sure Tyler hated my guts and also left and probably died so I don't think I'm really jaguar dad material
but you know who dresses like a dad
Frank
Barlit

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#7
wasn't Abel his dad before
also I said hot dad not boring trust fund dad
Asha

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#8
New jags don't need hot dads, they need responsible dads who give them lunch money
This comparison is making me nauseated 1_face_weary2
Barlit

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#9
God, really.

okay
I will never make a hot dad flirty comment again
Asha

:(((((((
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#10
There's a difference between being a hot dad and being SOMEONE's hot dad
I think??
I don't understand how any of this works
Barlit

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#11
Oh?!! Asha brightened again.

you'll just be a regular dad
but to me a hot dad
is this okay?!
Asha

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#12
So is the dad thing like that it's a hot someone else's dad, like just A hot dad
or
like wanting your own dad to be hot, or wanting a hot dad to be your dad
Barlit

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#13
Wat. She laughed like a bubbly laugh and reread it to herself a few times before it made sense.

it's the first one but I can call you Daddy if you like and then it can be the third one too
Asha

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#14
GROSS
Barlit

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#15
Asha renamed him "Daddy Barlit" and then sent him a screenshot of it.
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#16
3_person_no_go2 this is my last text to you until you change it
Daddy Barlit

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#17
:((( okay Daddy
-renamed to Hot Mad Dad-
Asha

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#18
What if you try to text me and end up texting your actual dad
Hot Mad Dad

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#19
-renamed to ♡ Hot Mad Dad ♡-
Asha

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#20
it still says DAD
♡ Hot Mad Dad ♡

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#21
She didn't call her father dad in her messages ABRAHAM.

more likely to if I go back to Barlit but I'll take that risk just for you
-renamed to Barlit ♡-
Asha

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#22
Is your dad named Barlit
Barlit ♡

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#23
I call him Babuji
Asha

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#24
Ohhhh
Then just put the heart first
Barlit ♡

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#25
Aww. That was sweet.

That's perfect
-renamed to ♡ Barlit-
When are you taking me out on a date
Asha

:3 ♡?
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#26
When you tell me where you wanna go
♡ Barlit

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#27
Mewl. Asha tilted her head back, thinking about ideas. Still feeling kinda mischievous, she decided on a fun one.

Have you ever gone to see the jaguars at the zoo
Asha

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#28
I haven't, I wonder if they'll get mad
Down to find out
♡ Barlit

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#29
One second she was sure he'd be all "no let's not agitate the animals Asha" and then the next he was literally the opposite.

She literally squealed.

Barlit the Badass ♡
it's supposed to be in the fifties this weekend soooo which day works best for you??
Asha

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#30
Badass guy, making cats in a cage mad!

Saturday works for me, glad it won't be freezing
♡ Barlit

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#31
wanna pick me up from the terrace and we can go together??
Asha

That way they didn't have to drive separately after!
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#32
Yeah, that probably makes the most sense
♡ Barlit

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#33
Yay okay see you Saturday ♡
Asha

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#34
See you Saturday 9_symbol_water_drops
♡ Barlit

But then. Like. An hour later.

Wait you did send that jaguar to Frank though right??
♡ Barlit

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#35
Heheheh inside jokes.

Then an hour passed and Asha jumped at another text.

omg
yes I did ;_;
Asha

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#36
Oh okay good just making sure
See you Saturday
♡ Barlit

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