When the Shift Hits the Fan

Yellow Pages 
#1
Brilliant title courtesy of the amazing @Limn
@Alexandra Davidson


Incoming call from Hen
Hen

Wehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#2
You alright?
Lex

 It wasn't the calmest, cool, collected hello - but they were drawing closer and closer to the full moon and she was getting a little nervous for his sake. Plus, they lived together for fuck's sake - what couldn't wait until the evening?
Wehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#3
Are my eyeballs going to explode????
Hen

Wehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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#4
What the fuck ate you talking about?

It was a little sharper than she would normally be, a little rougher as she tried to navigate where in the hell this was coming from.

Are you okay? What happened?
Lex

Wehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#5
He tried to take a breath, panic roiling hot in his stomach.

That guy who sideswiped you came into the shop, uh, Fletch. We were in Kai's office and I told him I was going to have my first and then he said something about eyeballs exploding.
Hen

His voice pitched.

That doesn't...that doesn't happen, right??
Hen

Wehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#6
What a bunch of fucking dicks.

She covered the speaker of her phone, pulled it away from the side of her face to take a slow and deep breath to reel herself in. She would not laugh, this wasn't funny, he was clearly scared at the prospect of losing his fucking eyeballs.

No, Hen, they're being assholes. It's more of like a pop out then an explosion, like the eyeball itself is still intact at the time of departure.
Lex

Wehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#7
Given the proximity of the full moon, this was a shitty time to realize the full magnitude of the inevitable. His reassurance was terribly short-lived.

But they......they.....still fall out???
Hen

He sucked at the air, fingers curling into his thighs as he bent at the waist.

Not even my eyes are going to be the same?
Hen

Wehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#8
Hen, try to think about this reasonably - you're not going to keep your fingers either. It's a completely different body, how would human-sized eyes look in a coyote head? What do you want to be? Steve Buscemi? It doesn't work like that.
Lex

This was a new kind of terrible, she took a deep breath and coughed to try to mask a waiver of a giggle at the end of her explanation.
Wehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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#9
 Fun loving, easy going Hendrix wasn't feeling the humor.

Fuck you, Alex. Fuck all of you. I get that I'm the new kid. I already gathered that I'm the fucking bottom of this totem pole, and that's fine. But the very least you could all do is to not find my panic so god damn amusing. Especially you. I get it, you're gonna be a fucking leader or princess or some shit, I don't know. But wow, just...way to be an asshole.
Hen

Wehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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#10
 It was a leak of pressure in the fucking cabin, a moment and then all the fucking fun was sucked out of the room. She was quiet, serious all at once as she stared down at her feet. People coped differently, making a joke that wasn't at her expense was easy - a great way to work through all her anxiety.

Hey, I'm sorry - that was shitty. Of them and me, I mean.

Some credit, but she wasn't going down for all of it - assholes. >:[

It's going to be miserable, but your eyes will be fine, swear on my fucking life.
Lex

Wehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#11
 He wanted to tell her how scared he was, but he also wanted to keep the meager scraps of pride he had left.

Yeah, okay. M'sorry too.
Hen

 There was a pause, an awkward silence similar to the ones that had swallowed them often during the last few weeks.

Do you want me to pick up dinner on my way home?
Hen

Wehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#12
There was a lull, a long pause as she tried to decide if they were really fine or if he was just being ... Hendrix.

Dinner would be great, your pick ... see you soon?
Lex

Wehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#13
See you soon.
Hen

Wehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh



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